Ever since I became a college freshman, I have been asked the same questions multiple times by almost everyone I have come into contact with. One of the questions I get asked the most is “Have you made any (new) friends?”. The short answer is no—and yes, I receive very odd and confused and sometimes even pitying looks when I say that. I really shouldn't feel the need to have to explain myself, but this post will act as the long answer, doing just that.
I’m not a very social person. But for some reason no one seems to understand that, and they keep trying to change me. Please stop. You can't and you won't. Not even with these magic words:
“Why wouldn’t you want to be social?”
“Everyone needs friends!”
"There are plenty of clubs you can join!"
"Have you heard of [insert any group event or Greek organization]?"
“Blah Blah Blah”
Here's a whammy for ya: I already have friends.
I know what you're thinking. It doesn't hurt to make more. I'm aware of that. College is supposed to be the place where you make lifelong friends and all that jazz. But what if I feel I already have "lifelong" friends? What if I feel I already have all the friends I personally need?
I can't fully explain why I am the way I am. That's just me. I'm different; wow, God forbid, right? I'm terrible at initiating conversations, so I usually just don't. And out of that comes not making new friends if no one else takes the time or energy to start a conversation with me. I am not unfriendly or selfish or stuck up or whatever other adjectives there are. I'm just really socially anxious and not outgoing. My disposition is usually quiet, shy, and introverted. I don't necessarily see that as a flaw, because it's just who I am, but I do sometimes find myself being irritated or almost angry that I am each of those things. And I really shouldn't be.
I don't need 100 "friends" to be satisfied. Quality over quantity. I'm not going to college to make a ton of friends. I'm going to college to expand my learning and to strengthen my writing skills so I can hopefully actually do something with them some day. Let me do that the way I want to. If I make one friend, 10 friends, or no friends along the way, then fine. It's seriously not a big deal to me.
“Why wouldn’t you want to be social?”
“Everyone needs friends!”
"There are plenty of clubs you can join!"
"Have you heard of [insert any group event or Greek organization]?"
“Blah Blah Blah”
Here's a whammy for ya: I already have friends.
I know what you're thinking. It doesn't hurt to make more. I'm aware of that. College is supposed to be the place where you make lifelong friends and all that jazz. But what if I feel I already have "lifelong" friends? What if I feel I already have all the friends I personally need?
I can't fully explain why I am the way I am. That's just me. I'm different; wow, God forbid, right? I'm terrible at initiating conversations, so I usually just don't. And out of that comes not making new friends if no one else takes the time or energy to start a conversation with me. I am not unfriendly or selfish or stuck up or whatever other adjectives there are. I'm just really socially anxious and not outgoing. My disposition is usually quiet, shy, and introverted. I don't necessarily see that as a flaw, because it's just who I am, but I do sometimes find myself being irritated or almost angry that I am each of those things. And I really shouldn't be.
I don't need 100 "friends" to be satisfied. Quality over quantity. I'm not going to college to make a ton of friends. I'm going to college to expand my learning and to strengthen my writing skills so I can hopefully actually do something with them some day. Let me do that the way I want to. If I make one friend, 10 friends, or no friends along the way, then fine. It's seriously not a big deal to me.
This video explains how I feel pretty well, but if you don't want to watch the whole thing, here are some highlights: "No one is supposed to have 100% likability. You can't please everyone all the time." "There isn't something wrong with you just because you're a little quieter than other people." | |
Don't feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity. I know most people probably mean well, but I'm perfectly fine with where I am in my life at this point. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I am happy. I feel like I have all the friends I need, right at home, not college. And that is perfectly fine and dandy for me personally. I'm asking that you respect that.
As always, thank you so much for reading this. I recently learned that I have a few more readers than I thought, and I still can't wrap my head around it. It's cool to know that I'm not always just writing for the heck of it. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. I got really personal with this one, which is scary, but I felt I needed to. Maybe someone can relate, I don't know.
Also, I promise there will be more music-related posts coming very soon, so don't change the channel, stay where you are, grab some popcorn, whatever.
~Stay fly :)
Also, I promise there will be more music-related posts coming very soon, so don't change the channel, stay where you are, grab some popcorn, whatever.
~Stay fly :)